Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Out of Hospital and Exhausted

Dear Best Friend,

My son is out of the hospital as of yesterday afternoon and checked into a psychiatric facility for a few days of inpatient care.  He was very upset about going there and begged and begged me not to sign the paperwork.  I tried to explain to him that it was in his best interest for me to sign the paper, because if I check him in, I also have the ability to check him back out.  If I don't sign it, they will force him in and then I have no control over how long he is there.  He cried and pleaded, he promised he would talk to me about his feelings, that he would stay by my side so I could watch him and even said he would clean the whole house.  Anything to not have to go there.  Once he realized I had signed him in, you could see the fight go out of him.  I was so heart broken watching that.  I don't want him to give up on himself.  If he doesn't put in the effort to get out of there, I won't be able to bring him home very soon.

I'm planning to go visit him today.  I hope he will have had a good night and a good day, enough that he will realize he needs the break from life to clear him mind and finish the physical healing.  I also hope he has forgiven me.  I hope he understands that I did it because I love him so much.

I had a hard time relaxing enough to sleep last night but once I finally did, I slept hard.  It's already noon and I haven't gotten out of bed.  Well, I did take the dog out and I also helped my youngest son to take a bath, but other than that, I've been in bed.  I feel so exhausted in every way.  The house is a wreck, we haven't had anything to eat, we need to go to the store...  and still I would rather pull the covers back up and go back to sleep.  I need to get my act together soon.


Your Best Friend

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